Friday, April 2, 2010

Good Friday and April Fools

I admit I am a serial problem solver, my minuscule engineering molecule that I was gifted with blissfully functioning in a practical methodology-except at 3 in the friggin' morning. Lately I find myself waking from restless sleep far more than I would like to admit, wacky dreams I briefly recapture for dysfunctional clues to what is going on in my sub conscious before falling back to sleep. Constantly reevaluating the waking dream I am living -sometimes becomes a challenge in itself. In all honesty it seems like every fifteen years my gypsy blood rises and wants a change, my life feels routine, my muse desires another palette.
These days I am not feeling creatively challenged enough and I throw myself-ass over tea kettle, into the smallest of assignments apparently unable to determine the clients who want quality results and are willing to pay a fair compensation, from the ones who I become a willing doormat to be taken advantage of. If there is a Cinderella complex for artists I am in the proverbial trenches.
I want to be working with other creatives, part of a team, yes, working a job, with a boss who appreciates the hoops I jump through and the passion I have for the process. I want to get up, get dressed... go to work and create, I want the daily grind to be the job I love, and love the job I do.
I don't want to waste precious sleep time waking with stressful thoughts about money and maintenance around the problem solving molecule in overdrive focused on the solution.
Today is Good Friday and here is what has been good, if not great about it, I finished reworking my website, expanding and updating my online portfolio, and now in earnest I will start applying for design jobs. Top of my list is Google, I know... good luck, I hear they only look at twenty something applicants, but I can dream. San Diego and Austin are also on my radar, another bleak winter here is all I need to send me over the edge, if I pull off a geographic I want it to be to a warmer climate. Hoping, praying and lighting candles in the spirit of write it down make it happen that next year at this time I won't be having another 'Groundhog Day' experience on Good Friday and feeling like another April Fool.

No comments: