Coming unglued

"There is sacredness in tears. They are not the mark of weakness, but of power. They speak more eloquently than ten thousand tongues. They are the messengers of overwhelming grief, of deep contrition, and of unspeakable love." -Washington Irving (1783-1859)

All those cliches about one door opening and another closing, life turning on a dime, appreciate each day for the gift it is, are small reminders and nano comfort these days. Frankly I've been having a terrible time getting on with things. The depressing rainy weather hand in hand with my seemingly endless flow of tears contributes to my feeling still in shock. I am so eternally thankful for Dave in my life he has been my rock and lifeboat, and has left Pepper here with me when he is not. She has in fact been here since losing Maggie. There is no replacing one dog with another but I see fully the benefit gained by the distraction. Plus she is very cute.
When I lost Mona, I waited six months before adopting Maggie at the local animal shelter, or even going through the effort of looking. I'm not sure why I waited so long, life was so sure quiet without a dog for those months. Really quiet. But looking back, I was waiting for her. When I broke down and went down the row of barking lunging dogs at the pound, she was the only one sitting quietly in her cell staring at me. She had a pink slip on her door, not a job dismissal, and when she came outside with me, she circled my legs like a cat and stole my heart.
Its been ten years and life without her seems so hard, everyday gets a little easier, but I'm still coming apart at the seams. Photos of her, phone calls and comforting emails from friends and family all still seem to push me over the edge. She was larger than life, and I believe leaves my life better because of her presence in it.