Sunday, February 22, 2009

Free Falling

U is for UNPREPARED for losing Maggie
The bus ran off the road on Friday, it started off like any other day. Had I known it would end like it did I would have not spent so much time working on the computer and would have skipped my volunteer shift on Thursday. I would have made more time to stroke her head and tell her what an incredible companion she has been since the day I brought her home from the pound. She was always so funny, smart, so undemanding, loyal and devoted but independent, so if I was busy working she was totally content. We had our rhythm, which after living ten years 24/7 together is no surprise.
She had been having some difficulties, and was hardly eating, and drinking more water than normal so I called the vet and scheduled an appointment for 3.
She had been to the vet in December but saw a new vet who said the lump in her side Dave felt was just a full bladder, took no x-rays or showed any concern despite our worries that she was kind of lethargic. But she had lost BuBu 5 months previously, and we all were still recovering that loss.
Friday was different, our regular vet felt her swollen belly, immediately took an x-ray and she was in surgery 15 minutes later. She said she probably wouldn't have made it through the weekend. I prayed for a miracle but when the vet came out, I only had to look at the expression of pain on her face to know I had lost her. It was cancer and it had spread to her liver.
I still feel heartbroken I had less than five minutes to say goodbye, I was so not prepared. In my worst nightmare, never would I have thought I would be taking her to the vet that day and not bringing her home.
Now there is a giant hole in my life and heart and I am still falling into it.


Martina Konietzny M.F.A. said...

Dear Rose, down here at the Emeryville ranch we are sending you our deepest symphathy for your loss. She will be for ever remembered.

Love Martina

Debra said...

Dearest Rosie,
We are deeply saddened to hear about your loss.
Maggie was a dear soul.
Wish I could run up there and give you a good, long hug.
We love you so,
Deb & Don